The Bulwer-Lytton Hall of Shame 2007-08

19^th century novelist Edward Bulwer-Lytton, famous for such lines as "It was a dark and stormy night…," was such a terrible writer that San José University started an annual contest to see who could write opening sentences even worse than his. This year, the Overlake School Library ran its second Bulwer-Lytton contest, and the results were… well…terrible! Here are the winners and honorable mentions for 2007-08.

First Place—10 Points

The ninja would have woken up in the morning to go find another dimension, save the world and live happily ever after until the divorce with the love of his life, Jen, but his head was cut off, shot three times, and thrown into the Nile.

--A. B., 7^th, Green

Second Place—7 points

Mrs. Daisy Dunker was known all across the dainty village of Danbury for her delectably devilish, dark chocolate Danish doughnuts, which everyone bought for top dollar until one dreadful day when poor Mrs. Daisy Dunker, much to the sorrow of her doughnut-eating diners, fell into the dough and disappeared into a black hole.

--A. L., 5th, Gold

Third Place—5 Points

Bob had two parents who loved and supported him; it was such a shame that they both died and Bob had to become a sumo wrestler to support himself.

–N. M., 8^th, Gold

Honorable Mention—2 points

A long time ago, an undead princess was standing on top of a castle while worms were coming out of her nose.

--S. H., 6^th, Green

As the battle raged on, a woman in a house far away got ready to brush her cat.

D. R., 6^th, Gold

~*~*~*~

Green/Gold Points: Green: 78, Gold: 63

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10/07 rmoore@overlake.org